I try. I really truly do.
I enter feeling comfortable.
And so we did last evening. We asked the ‘meeter and greeter’ on the ground floor where ‘our’ event was and were told we could go to the gallery and look but that the museum would close in 20 mins and we’d be asked to leave before going back in. Hmmm ok.
Did he know, by any chance also where the Carmen exhibition was? No. Sorry. Ok.
Up we went.
When I had trouble walking I had trouble here. Yes there’s a lift but it takes you to the first floor, then you walk to the next lift.
So far ok.
We asked on the first floor. Yep we could go to the exhibition but perhaps when the museum closed we might like to stay in the coffee shop area. Perhaps though this was what we were after?
Her colleague suggested Carmen was on the 4th floor. Go to the aeroplane turn right then right again. Colleague one talked to us as if were old biddies deaf and stupid. Colleague two was more appropriate. Ok we look old but in our hearts we aren’t.
Lift. Asked again. Wait. Found the aeroplane. Listened politely while the attendant explained to us that there was a really big storage area in Taranaki St and that only 3% of the collection was on view. Yep thanks. He followed behind as we set off for the place we were directed too. Then it clicked. Ah no, the Carmen exhibition was no longer here. Aha. Thanks.
Up to ‘our’ exhibition. Ten minutes later asked to leave. Ok sure. Ground floor perhaps? Ok. No offer of coffee shop on 4th floor.
Ground floor. Coffee shop closed. Museum Shop is open though.
No book on display. We sit on window ledge. Oh look. Carvings. Hmm the sign on the wall says one thing but the labels on the items another. Are these polystyrene? They are very old school molds. Ugly as. Inaccurate I’d say too. Brian Flintoff in the case beside is great stuff. Time to go. Out past cheap junk jewellery for $2.00 a piece and resin ornaments. Nice. Can there be options of cheap things? Something more imaginative perhaps?
Back up to exhibition opening and book launch. Herded. Toilets are this way. I lead off. No sorry can’t go. Hadn’t thought of toilet access. Wait there are some here. Oh THIS is ‘our’ launch. Poor woman gets a restrained earful. In case you are curious it was me.
I imagine that staff would know what was on, and that people may wish to visit toilets and not feel like corralled cattle. I hope the anaesthetists on the first floor enjoyed their dinner and the aesthetes on the 4th and 5th felt loved.
Finally. And a drink. The launch is pleasant and the exhibition (again) pretty spectacular. Although some errors and missing images, we think. But nice and I buy the book.
We are escorted happily out and leave the premises. As we leave we discover that I have only full or park lights. Fortunately most people are heading IN to town for fireworks.
I KNOW big museums have multiple events but do they need to make us feel so annoying? Perhaps we are, and we have only realised it lately.